Between 1986 and 1992, the writing team of John Skipp and Craig Spector produced six novels, the final of which was Animals, a variation of the werewolf mythos.  Skipp and Spector, along with other writers like David J. Schow, led the self-described "splatterpunk" movement, emphasizing graphic  gore and sexuality within horror novels.  They may not have been high-brow works of art, but they were a lot of fun, and, generally, very effective pieces of horror fiction.  I tell you that so you understand that I entered the viewing of Animals, the movie, with optimism.  When the director, Douglas Aarniokoski, who also helmed Highlander: Endgame, changes his name rather than be saddled with this film, you know you're in some trouble.  Co-author Craig Spector, in a display of sheer bravado, left his name on the film as the single screenwriter.  

Marc Blucas (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) is Jarrett, a small town boy who went off to college on a football scholarship, but found himself back on his old stomping grounds after an accident put him out of the game.  he works construction, hangs out at his buddy's bar, and generally keeps to himself.  That is, until the wild Nora (Nicki Aycox, Dead Birds) shows up looking for a little action.  Unable to resist her charms, Jarrett and Nora get a little busy at his place, the highlight of which is her insistence that Jarrett bite her the next morning.  Weird.

Nora comes with lots of baggage, namely Vic, as played by Lost's Naveen Andrews, her ex-boyfriend with just as much bite as bark.  See, Vic and Nora are werewolves, kind of.  Actually, they're like big Dobermans on two legs, only all hazy blue and CGI.  Sometimes, pre-Doberman, they get big fangs and super-big mouths, but that's about as close as you get to something that looks frightening in this film.  I wish there had been more of that, instead of all the slow motion shots of Vic wandering around Reno with a fur coat and no shirt, looking like he's on his way to a rendezvous with Lt. Jim Dangle.  

Oh, wait, there's more story.  See, Jarrett's barmaid friend is also a Doberman, or whatever, and, after Vic comes for Nora, she shows him how to harness his Doberman side.  Of course, Nora and Vic aren't gone forever, and they bomb in on the third act to stir up some trouble.  That part is a bit hazy, as it's hard to see the action on the screen when your eyes are in a perpetual roll.

I like the novel Animals, as I remember it, but surely my memory can't be so hazy as to forget killer ghost dogs rampaging around the woods.  And, I believe that this film began as a serious attempt to give a fresh take on the werewolf genre, only instead of wolves people become a more animalistic version of themselves, always ready for a fight or a screw.  I get that.  It would have made for a fun ride if the promise of the concept had been fulfilled.  The idea that we are a mere touch from our primitive, reptile brain, pleasure-seeking, fight-lovin' side isn't  a new one, but it is a viable one.  In this film, the premise is wasted on middling acting and some of the worst CGI I've seen in some time.  Additionally, the film lapses into its Doberman-view occasionally, which is also a distraction, like the Predator view only awful.

I would love to say Animals is the first successful realization of a Skipp/Spector novel, a statement I hope to make in earnest one day, but this isn't it.  If you want to see a post-Riley Marc Blucas get it on in an alley, have at it.  Otherwise, this is one to cross off your list.