Ah, sweet Blu-ray.  Your six-times-the-resolution-of-DVD goodness, the loving transfers made to your format…  It really is a thing of beauty, the way that Anchor Bay and others are bringing the neo-classics and cult horror films of the ‘80s and ‘90s to this new hi-def medium.  This time around, we’re looking at 1984’s Children of the Corn, one of many adaptations from Stephen King’s Night Shift collection.  The story, more of a scene, really, involves a couple traveling across the corn-covered wastes of Nebraska who run afoul of some kids high on religion.

Directed by first-timer Fritz Kiersch (The Stranger, Shattered Image), the film was originally penned by Stephen King, but that script was discarded in favor of one by George Goldsmith, which possessed a more narrative structure than King’s, a script that purportedly explored much more of the back story on the children of Gatlin.  The film starred Peter Horton, who, of course, starred in thirtysomething, and Linda Hamilton, best known as Sarah Connor in the Terminator films, both of whom do their damnedest in this film.

Horton and Hamilton are Burt and Vicky, on their way across country to their new home in Seattle.  They hit a literal bump in the road as Burt runs smack into a kid in the middle of a remote back road.  What we, as the audience, know that Burt doesn’t is that the kid was pushed into the road by a member of the kids-only community that now comprises the population of Gatlin, Nebraska.  Thanks to an opening flashback (and some narration to boot), we know that the children of Gatlin decided to dispatch the adults of the town and follow their own religion, as taught by Isaac (John Franklin), a new kid in town who becomes their leader, I believe, based on the size of his hat.

the kids-only community that now comprises the population of Gatlin, Nebraska.  Thanks to an opening flashback (and some narration to boot), we know that the children of Gatlin decided to dispatch the adults of the town and follow their own religion, as taught by Isaac (John Franklin), a new kid in town who becomes their leader, I believe, based on the size of his hat.

Burt and Vicky are forced into Gatlin, the body of the kid they whacked in the trunk, searching for some authority to whom they can report the accident.  Burt’s figured out that the road apple was dead when they struck him, based on the neat incision along his throat and a trail of blood found just off the road in the corn.  Finally in Gatlin, Burt and Vicky find the place to be a ghost town, where rats have infested the diner and corn husks litter the streets and shops.

This is only the calm before the storm, and it’s no time before Burt is being chased by the local corn-worshippers while Vicky is abducted and mounted to a cross made of… you guessed it… corn.  Two younger kids, who were playing hookey from Isaac’s initial “let’s all kill the grown-ups” meeting, help Burt and Vicky in their quest for escape, but are undone time and again by Isaac and his enforcer, Malachai (Courtney Gains).  This all wraps up in a final confrontation with the children and their false god, referred to as He Who Walks Behind the Rows.

his enforcer, Malachai (Courtney Gains).  This all wraps up in a final confrontation with the children and their false god, referred to as He Who Walks Behind the Rows.

Children of the Corn is fascinating in its endurance.  There are those who recall this as one of the most terrifying films from their youth, and, if you count yourselves among those, this may be best left to memory.  You see, Children of the Corn isn’t that great a movie.

The acting is quite strong from leads Horton and Hamilton, but, as with any film involving a number of children, the other performances are spotty.  Courtney Gains is more distracting than frightening, though his later performances were much better than this debut, especially his turn in the series Starman as Bo.  Enough said about that.  His cries of “Outlander!  We have your woman!” have become somewhat iconic among horror fans, and perhaps rightfully so.  It’s certainly one of the stronger moments in this film.

There is an uneven quality in this movie, that often induces a fine creep factor, then deflates it with some poor acting or effects that are less-than-special.  The conclusion gets downright silly, and, by the time Isaac is telling Malachai that he’s being paged by He Who Walks Behind the Rows, Isaac is channeling his inner Don King and things have gotten ridiculous.  I got a big laugh out of the rocket-propelled corn-cross upon which Isaac hangs, as well.

the rocket-propelled corn-cross upon which Isaac hangs, as well.

Still, Children of the Corn sets a mood and sticks with it, and there are some nice set pieces and moments that provide some real chills.  A subtext on the quality of religion is introduced, but never pays off in any intellectually satisfying way.  The Blu-ray transfer is very good, but the film quality itself is not pristine, so some of the potential of hi-def is squandered here.  The special features are the usual sort – an audio commentary, original trailer, and some very fun “making of” features, especially one called “It Was the Eighties!” in which Linda Hamilton provides her recollection of the filming.

Children of the Corn may have achieved a sort of cult status, and there are certainly reasons for that, but this is ultimately a frustrating experience as spotty child acting and lackluster effects strip away much of the tension the film has worked so hard to create.  A great rental for you nostalgia fans, but this reviewer found it just a tad – dare I say it? – corny.