Last Blog on the Left proudly presents its first in a series of interviews with modern and classic films. First in the seat - 2008's remake of Prom Night. The film arrives late, appearing nervous and distracted, dressed in Hollywood chic only a little out-of-date. Lighting a smoke, it settles in its chair, glancing at the door.

Last Blog on the Left: Thanks for coming.

Prom Night: Yeah, man, thanks for having me. So, what'd you think?

LBOTL: Let's start with some background first. You're the remake of 1980's Prom Night, the Jamie Lee Curtis film?

PN: Awesome flick, yeah?

LBOTL: Sure. Have you seen it?

PN: Not yet.

LBOTL: That feels right.

PN: (stands abruptly) Man, if this is another hatchet job...

LBOTL: Please, have a seat. We're here to talk about you, not the past. So, the story as I see it is that a girl, Donna, played by Brittany Snow, is stalked by a former teacher who killed her family, then was arrested and sent to a mental institution. But, as fate would have it, he escapes just before her prom and shows up at the event wielding a grudge and a knife. He picks off her friends one-by-one before stalking her to her home. Is that about right?

PN: Pretty scary, huh? I like how there's no mystery as to the identity of the killer, yeah? (takes a drag) And how the prom and all her friends are totally beside the point. And the cops! Holy crap, dude, when they show up at the prom and never bother to actually check out the room of the girl they know is being targeted by a killer! That was awesome!

PN: (stands abruptly) Man, if this is another hatchet job...

LBOTL: Please, have a seat. We're here to talk about you, not the past. So, the story as I see it is that a girl, Donna, played by Brittany Snow, is stalked by a former teacher who killed her family, then was arrested and sent to a mental institution. But, as fate would have it, he escapes just before her prom and shows up at the event wielding a grudge and a knife. He picks off her friends one-by-one before stalking her to her home. Is that about right?

PN: Pretty scary, huh? I like how there's no mystery as to the identity of the killer, yeah? (takes a drag) And how the prom and all her friends are totally beside the point. And the cops! Holy crap, dude, when they show up at the prom and never bother to actually check out the room of the girl they know is being targeted by a killer! That was awesome!

LBOTL: What about the total lack of blood? And I know this movie wasn't going to linger on the gore, but not since Tim Roth's turn in Reservoir Dogs has there been more gut-centric trauma with so little blood. Didn't you realize that the title Prom Night appealed to lovers of slasher films, and that's about it? So, you took away the one thing that make those movies fun?

PN: Look, man, we can't all be The Prince of Tides or whatever. I'm not a good movie. I'm lost. I'm shallow. I don't care about my paper-thin characters, I follow the rules of a horror movie without making it fun or different, and the only people I scare are the jumpy characters in me. No one should bother. There, I said it.

LBOTL: One final question. Didn't Donna's boyfriend look like what would happen if Ray Liotta and Sean William Scott had a baby?

PN: (lights a smoke off the one he finished) Totally.

PN: (lights a smoke off the one he finished) Totally.