Oh Platinum Dunes, how you have hurt us.  Sure, there are horror fans that enjoyed remakes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th, but I would wager the majority of die-hards out there feel these are pale imitations of the originals.  A while back, I even proposed that Messrs. Fuller and Bay simply don’t understand the construction of horror films, and you can read that here.  But, I come to guardedly praise the Dunes’ remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street, not to bury it before we’ve had a chance to see it.  In the interest of fairness, a hallmark amongst bloggers everywhere, I present my own no-nonsense list of pros and cons for those thinking of heading to the theater in two short weeks for this one.

First, the cons.  Let’s get all the negativity out of the way.  The biggest strike against the film, in my mind, is its producers.  Platinum Dunes has taken beloved horror franchises and remade them (you will see no references to ‘rebooting’ or ‘re-imagining’ here – a remake is a remake) as largely superficial, frenetically-edited action horror entertainment.  For original works, that can be fine, unless your film is called The Unborn, one of the Dunes’ forays into original horror.  I point to Platinum Dunes and cry, “J’accuse!” when they try to pass off far more superficial scripts as making older films more contemporary. What they mean is they are dumbing the movies down.  Sure, the original Friday the 13th doesn’t really speak to the higher brain, but the original Chainsaw Massacre is rife with subtext.  For all its problems, 1979’s The Amityville Horror is a well-structured funhouse of a movie that became a burden to watch (unless you like Ryan Reynolds’ pecs) in its 2005 iteration.  Essentially, Platinum Dunes has effed up a lot of well-received and fondly-

remembered movies in the horror canon.  Strike one.

Next up, the writers.  Eric Heisserer is largely untested, though he received accolades for his web series “Dionaea House.”  He’s also attached to the prequel to Carpenter’s The Thing.  None of that adds up to a bad writer, just a

question mark surrounding him.  We have more background on co-writer Wesley Strick.  Strick is tied to several on-the-cusp films like Arachnophobia, The Saint, Wolf, The Glass House and Doom.  Some are pretty good, some, like Doom, just aren’t.  Still, this is a milder strike against as one writer is untested, the other with his ups and downs.  But, when you’re remaking A Nightmare on Elms Street, one of the most frightening, bloody and surreal iconic films from the ‘80s, you bring the A-game.  Why not pass it by Neil Marshall or Frank Darabont?  Sure, it costs some dough to get those guys on board (and they’d probably want to direct), but they are proven horror directors.  Why not get an older and wiser Wes Craven to take a pass?  He’d probably want to direct, too.  Which brings us to…

Samuel Bayer.  The guy has lived in music videos and commercials for fifteen years.  Not a knock, per se, the man did direct and shoot Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit and dozens of other videos you’ve seen and thought, “That was pretty badass,” but this is his first feature.  Numero uno.  And it’s A Nightmare on Elm Street.  Though I don’t blame Bayer for having little experience in the feature film world, I am more surprised that the producers didn’t think to themselves, “We have the rights to a film that spawned seven sequels, a television show, video games, Halloween costumes and boasts one of the most instantly-recognizable villains in modern film history.  We should definitely go with someone who knows this genre inside and out and take this story to the next level.”  Oh, wait, who’s producing again?  Never mind.  It just shows a lack of respect for the original film’s status.  

Enough whining, what about the perfectly legitimate reasons to see the film?  Let’s start with the man himself, Jackie Earle Hailey.  When I heard he was playing Freddy Kreuger, I breathed a sigh of relief.  I know people love Robert Englund in this role, and they have every right to.  Englund, over the course of the series, transformed Kreuger from a terrifyingly brutal killer to a wise-cracking demon who was never at a loss for an inventive way to kill a teen.  He will forever be tied to the Nightmare franchise, and he should be.  But Hailey… I mean, did you see Watchmen?  Hailey nails it.  He’s violent, psychotic and incredibly compelling in the role of Rorschach.  If he brings that intensity to Krueger, A Nightmare on Elm Street could be something it hasn’t been in some time – scary.  

Samuel Bayer.  The guy has lived in music videos and commercials for fifteen years.  Not a knock, per se, the man did direct and shoot Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit and dozens of other videos you’ve seen and thought, “That was pretty badass,” but this is his first feature. Numero uno.  And it’s A Nightmare on Elm Street.  Though I don’t blame Bayer for having little experience in the feature film world, I am more surprised that the producers didn’t think to themselves, “We have the rights to a film that spawned seven sequels, a television show, video games, Halloween costumes and boasts one of the most instantly-recognizable villains in modern film history.  We should definitely go with someone who knows this genre inside and out and take this story to the next level.”  Oh, wait, who’s producing again?  Never mind.  It just shows a lack of respect for the original film’s status.  

Enough whining, what about the perfectly legitimate reasons to see the film?  Let’s start with the man himself, Jackie Earle Haley.  When I heard he was playing Freddy Kreuger, I breathed a sigh of relief.  I know people love Robert Englund in this role, and they have every right to. Englund, over the course of the series, transformed Kreuger from a terrifyingly brutal killer to a wise-cracking demon who was never at a loss for an inventive way to kill a teen.  He will forever be tied to the Nightmare franchise, and he should be.  But Haley… I mean, did you see Watchmen?  Haley nails it.  He’s violent, psychotic and incredibly compelling in the role of Rorschach.  If he brings that intensity to Krueger, A Nightmare on Elm Street could be something it hasn’t been in some time – scary.  

And that’s the other reason to feel a bit of excitement for this film – the scare factor.  I know I’m being optimistic, but what if they get it right?  What if the kids in the movie aren’t just flat characters there to be slaughtered?  What if the story remains intact and we have a horrifying look at a killer who practices his trade in victims’ dreams, terrorizing these children for the sins of their parents?  What if it is actually frightening?  And it could be.  Track record aside, this Nightmare is its own film and should be viewed as if the original did not exist.  Can Platinum Dunes slow down the typically manic film style to allow this story, and this character, to breathe and become the horror that terrified audiences twenty years ago?  We’ll soon see.

And that’s the other reason to feel a bit of excitement for this film – the scare factor.  I know I’m being optimistic, but what if they get it right?  What if the kids in the movie aren’t just flat characters there to be slaughtered?  What if the story remains intact and we have a horrifying look at a killer who practices his trade in victims’ dreams, terrorizing these children for the sins of their parents?  What if it is actually frightening?  And it could be.  Track record aside, this Nightmare is its own film and should be viewed as if the original did not exist.  Can Platinum Dunes slow down the typically manic film style to allow this story, and this character, to breathe and become the horror that terrified audiences twenty years ago?  We’ll soon see.