The late 1970s were a wonderful era for B-movie horror filmmaking.  American International Pictures churned out films like The Food of the Gods and Day of the Animals, usually starring Richard Farnsworth or Christopher George, and it wasn’t difficult to see the sociological underpinnings of these nature-gone-amok films.  Between Three Mile Island (Google it, youngsters) and the revelations about pesticides on our ecosystem, it seemed like everything we did as a species led to our own destruction.  In the case of these natural predator movies, our demise came in the form of hybrid mutations (Prophecy) caused by pollution, or simply the animals themselves deciding that we were wrecking the planet like the Earth was a hotel room and we were The Who.  Along these lines comes 1977’s Kingdom of the Spiders, starring a post-Star Trek series, pre-Star Trek movie William Shatner as the local vet of a southwestern town.  

Shatner plays all-around good guy Rack Hansen, who divides his time between caring for local livestock in the sleepy rancher community, and caring for his deceased brother’s wife and child.  When a prize cow is found sick at a nearby ranch, Biff Heartthrob, I mean Rack Hansen, investigates, firing off a blood sample to a nearby lab to determine the cause of the dying cow’s illness.  The cow dies, but precipitates the arrival of Diane Ashley (Tiffany Bolling), an expert entomologist.  She brings with her the news that the death of the cow, and other local livestock, is caused by venom… spider venom (bum bum BUM!).

At first skeptical, Link Porterhouse and the good doctor go to investigate the farm, where they find a gigantic dirt mound populated by tarantulas.  Though spiders are not necessarily social arachnids, according to all information I’ve received as a human being walking the planet for several years, these eight-legged beasties have decided to live together and bite the holy hell out of every animal they run across.  Brick Squatthrust and his new lady-friend doctor decide a little gasoline should do the trick, and set the mound o’ spiders on fire.  They should have checked for back doors, because that’s what the spiders use to get away.

At first skeptical, Link Porterhouse and the good doctor go to investigate the farm, where they find a gigantic dirt mound populated by tarantulas.  Though spiders are not necessarily social arachnids, according to all information I’ve received as a human being walking the planet for several years, these eight-legged beasties have decided to live together and bite the holy hell out of every animal they run across.  Brick Squatthrust and his new lady-friend doctor decide a little gasoline should do the trick, and set the mound o’ spiders on fire.  They should have checked for back doors, because that’s what the spiders use to get away.

The spiders get busy building a spider village, consisting of more mounds of spider homes, and they are ticked about their forcible removal.  So, naturally, they start targeting the citizenry of the town, even bringing down the pesticide-filled plane intended to spray them into oblivion.  Plank Goodbody and Dr. Ashley find some other non-spider-covered folks to hole up in the local inn with, making a last stand against the endless waves of furry, fanged antagonists, leading to the final reveal, which is just terrific.

Having seen this film many times as a child, it was enjoyable to revisit the newly-restored transfer available on DVD, finally in a widescreen format.  Moreover, it speaks to a unique aspect of horror fandom that we have touched on before – the good/bad movie.  There are a lot of things you can criticize this film for (but not ever the title) such as the wooden, B-caliber acting, the silly premise which exists far outside the agreed-upon laws of nature and the typical horrific histrionics so common to these movies.  Yes, all those things would hamstring a lesser film.  But, Kingdom of the Spiders manages to rise above.  Why?

Having seen this film many times as a child, it was enjoyable to revisit the newly-restored transfer available on DVD, finally in a widescreen format.  Moreover, it speaks to a unique aspect of horror fandom that we have touched on before – the good/bad movie.  There are a lot of things you can criticize this film for (but not ever the title) such as the wooden, B-caliber acting, the silly premise which exists far outside the agreed-upon laws of nature and the typical horrific histrionics so common to these movies.  Yes, all those things would hamstring a lesser film.  But, Kingdom of the Spiders manages to rise above.  Why?

For beginsies, the premise, ridiculous as it is, plays upon a primal fear.  Not only is the natural world deciding to get even with us for all that DDT mess, it’s fighting back with spiders!  And there are thousands of them, all slowly crawling towards you, climbing on the ceilings, through the vents, just to bite you again and again and again…  It’s simple, nightmarish stuff and the movie does a good job of covering its victims with these spiders.  Lines like “They kept biting her even after she was dead” are peppered throughout the script, raising the bar on how vicious and venomous these predators are.  The

characters have some surprisingly fun moments, too, like when Beef Chestly goes to visit his brother’s widow and a whole “milking the cow” metaphor crops up that is sure to generate either a laugh or a wince.  Either way, it sings.

Ultimately, this is a movie that lives or dies by its resolution, and it is a winner.  Not to spoil it for those who haven’t seen this little tidbit of late ‘70s cheese, the final shot is a reminder that a slam bang of an ending can go a long way to making your movie memorable, and, boy, does this ending work.  You can argue the matte painting’s quality, but if you recall the slow reveal of the entire town and the effect the spiders have upon it, you are sure to get the chills.  It works as much of this movie does – on its own terms, unapologetically campy, but with more depth than you may recall.  This one isn’t going to go down in the annals of horror classics, but pop some popcorn and give it a watch, anyway.  It’s a lot of fun.