Adam Gierasch, director of Autopsy, is currently at work on a remake of the semi-cult classic Night of the Demons, a film most notable for a scene involving Linnea Quigley and a tube of lipstick.  I was eager to see the guy at work, and with our first fray into the realm of the 8 Movies to Die For 3 series, a collection that has been comprised largely of horror misfires in the past, I put this at the top of the to-see list.  Gierasch has been in the horror field for some time, having co-written the final installment of Argento’s Three Mothers films, Mother of Tears, and done some acting, too, including in the film Red Sands.  Autopsy represents his first outing as a feature film director.

The movie begins in New Orleans, as a band of partiers comprised of Emily and Bobby (Jessica Lowndes and Ross Kohn), misfit toy Jude (Ross McCall), hot mama Clare (Ashley Schneider) and tagalong Heath Ledger look-alike Andrey (Arcadiy Golubovich), head out of the city after a night of indulgence.  As they barrel down the lonely highways of Louisiana, they manage to run down a man wearing a hospital gown.  As the young group freaks out, a rescue van arrives, loading the escaped patient roughly onto a gurney and exhibiting aide that seems to be a far cry from true medical assistance.  Word of warning; when your EMT has a tattoo of himself on his neck, ask for ID.

Despite their reservations, however, the gang hops into the rescue van with their victim, under the guise of getting some medical attention at the nearby Mercy Hospital.  This is one of a handful of truly dumb, and difficult to explain, moves made by the group, but that’s sort of a trope of this style of film, isn’t it?  At the hospital, the road apple is wheeled away, and the group contends with the antiseptic Nurse Marian (Aliens’ Jenette Goldstein).  Bobby, as it turns out, has a foot-long shard of glass in his side that, upon removal, necessitates a quick trip to the examination room of the mysterious Dr. Benway (Terminator 2’s Robert Patrick).  When Bobby is kept secluded, Emily goes in search of him, as Jude takes off for a quick bump in the bathroom while Clare sits in the lobby as Andrey is examined.  This effectively splits up the gang and allows the good nurse, doctor and his two tattooed flunkies to begin the work of hacking up the group of kids.

Superficially, Autopsy operates (sorry) on a primal fear – what happens when the people we trust to care for us turn out to be homicidal weirdoes more concerned with their own interests than in our well-being?  This is a theme that has been handled in other medical films such as Coma and Pathology, and there is wealth of fear to be mined from this particular vein.  There’s the helplessness of being in the hands of those who wish you harm, or the fear of the one person intended to heal you doing the most to render you maimed or worse.  Autopsy doesn’t take the lofty psychological route, instead focusing on its gorier intents, more concerned with displaying a stream of entrails falling from a newly opened stitching than in exploring the terror of a doctor’s betrayal of implicit trust.  And that’s okay.  Autopsy isn’t trying

to be some high-falutin’ psychodrama.  It draws more from Re-Animator than from the higher-minded thrillers.  

In this film, you’ll find hammered-in heads, more than a few looks at internal organs and a lot – a LOT – of blood.  Gierasch, who also wrote the script, doesn’t bother with building the characters or explaining too much about Dr. Benway’s organization.  Instead, he points the camera at the gore and yells “Action!”  There are those that are going to really enjoy this film on that level.  I’ll admit even I laughed a couple of times during the viewing, as some tense scene is interrupted by a throwaway gag.  It was fun, in its way, but it’s a little too heavy for its light moments and a little too light to retain intensity.  

If you’re looking for that horror movie that doesn’t scrimp on the viscera, but don’t want to bother with all that boring character development and extension of character through action, you’re bound to have some fun with this one.  Gierasch seems to be aiming too much for camp much of the time, though he does know how to construct a scene and I’m very curious to se how he grows with his sophomore effort.  As for Autopsy, it may distract you, but it won’t linger.

antiseptic Nurse Marian (Aliens’ Jenette Goldstein).  Bobby, as it turns out, has a foot-long shard of glass in his side that, upon removal, necessitates a quick trip to the examination room of the mysterious Dr. Benway (Terminator 2’s Robert Patrick).  When Bobby is kept secluded, Emily goes in search of him, as Jude takes off for a quick bump in the bathroom while Clare sits in the lobby as Andrey is examined.  This effectively splits up the gang and allows the good nurse, doctor and his two tattooed flunkies to begin the work of hacking up the group of kids.

are going to really enjoy this film on that level.  I’ll admit even I laughed a couple of times during the viewing, as some tense scene is interrupted by a throwaway gag.  It was fun, in its way, but it’s a little too heavy for its light moments and a little too light to retain intensity.